(From The Company of Wolves by Angela Carter) It Was Only Just A Dream

It Was Only Just a Dream

These gloomy winter days play a major told on an old women’s body. It is dark, cold and I am very ill today. If only I had some company or someone to help me but living in these woods makes it difficult for people to come visit me. I’ve always lived here. Summers are graceful, winters cold, dark, and harsh. I raised my daughter here. My husband built this house for us. She was a happy child and we were a happy family. My daughter was always happy as a child. Always laughing, playing and cheerful. Oh how I miss the simple days. Life was good. Really good.

            They say live everyday like your last. Always love, never hate.  I lost my husband when my daughter was just nine years old. My husband and I had gotten into an argument about him always going out hunting by himself. I absolutely hated it. The wolves in these woods are cruel, blood sucking demons. Demons I tell you! My husband got angry and left. I was so mad at him for leaving that not for one second was I worried about him. I had gone to bed early that evening. I expected to wake up to my husband next to me, but he wasn’t there. He hadn’t come home. I panicked and called the police. They found him in the middle of the woods half eaten by the wolves. It was hard on our whole family. My daughter changed from that day on. She couldn’t even look at me. She had lost her best friend in life and that is why our relationship is the way it is. She thinks it was my fault he got killed however she didn’t know I was trying to stop him from going out.

            From that day on I rarely leave this house. What business does an old frail lady like myself have going out in these woods? None at all I tell ya. Not unless one wants to be killed, especially an old frail lady like myself. I am deathly afraid of those awful beasts. Oh how cold it is in this house. I best make myself a fire. I can’t remember the last time I saw my granddaughter. She is becoming a beautiful young lady now. Her mother sends me pictures once a year. I got a call from my daughter today. I told her how ill I am. She decided that she is sending my granddaughter over to bring me a basket of soup and medicines. I begged her to come with my granddaughter but she refuses. Although I am upset that my daughter won’t be here, I’m very excited to see my granddaughter however the idea of her walking here alone scares me to death.

            My excitement faded as I thought of my granddaughter walking here in the dead of winter alone in these woods. If only I could talk some sense into her mother. If those wolves spotted her she would not be able to escape a pack of them.  Oh the thought of it makes my legs weak. I need to finish making this fire and lay down for a bit. I wonder when she will be here? Maybe I should get some rest before she comes, yes that sounds like a good idea.

            What seemed to be moments later I heard a pounding at the front door. It gave me such a fright. I thought I had been dreaming because I had put my head down for a moment but I heard the pounding again. Maybe it was my granddaughter! I rolled out of bed as fast as I could and forgot to put on my glasses. I finally got to the door and opened it, my granddaughter ran inside and slammed the door shut. Oh how happy I was to see her! I could only make out shapes but grabbed her and gave her a big hug. I told her to come sit down and make herself comfortable. I must have stepped on my glasses because I picked them up and they were broken in half. Disappointed I laid back into bed and tried starting conversation with my granddaughter. She sure was acting strange. Her responses were short and sweet. She had a deeper voice than I had remembered but I ignored it the flew was probably getting to me. She then offered to heat my soup up over the burning fire. Oh how sweet she is I thought. She then gave me the hot soup and watched me slowly eat it all. I found this to be very odd. Before I knew it she was hovering me almost like she was going to eat me. I told her to have a seat anywhere she liked but she refused. Suddenly I felt that something wasn’t right. She then let out a howl and a pack of wolves came into the house. I then realized this was not my granddaughter at all but a wolf! I screamed and screamed for help but a storm had picked up outside and no one was around. Before I knew it the wolf was shaking me so hard that I woke up. My granddaughter had woken me up from a nightmare. I couldn’t believe it was all a dream. Relieved I gave her a big hug and kiss. I was so happy to see that she was ok. We talked all through the night. I had told her about my nightmare. She told me that nothing was going to happen and that it was all a bad dream. So brave she stayed up all night to keep a watch out for me. I slept all through the night. Nothing was going to happen tonight. For the first time in years I felt a sense of relief. For now.