Voices in my Head

Story adopted from the short story: Diary of a Madman

              

Bullying is a touchy subject now a day.  On the news all you hear about is how a child was being bullied so bad that they have took their own life.  Bullying is not an issue that we should be taking lightly but it is something we should be trying to put a stop to.  Kids should not have to go through out their school day or any day being picked on and harassed by others.  It is just not fair to them; they do not deserve it, just because they may be a little heavier than some or different in other ways.  It's good to be unique and your own person but now day’s kids just don’t believe that.  If you are not a jock or one of the popular individuals in your class than your life may be hell.  Why others think it is okay to bully others we will never know.

                Joe and David are best friends in high school they are both freshman.  As you can imagine they are very nervous for their first year in the high school.  What will happen to them? Will they be liked and fit in or will they be the kids that everyone picks on?  These types of questions are what ran through their heads constantly.  On the first day of school Joe and David discovered that they had many classes together, except for the most important one and that would be lunch.  Joe was very concerned about this he had no clue where he was going to sit but David just figured he would make new friends without a problem and it wouldn't be that big of a deal.  David’s thoughts were right he fit right in with all the football players he even took up football and became a starter for the varsity team.  But what was going to happen to David and Joe’s relationship?

                Joe felt out of the loop and left alone, he felt everyone was constantly talking about him.  When he thought he could go to his best friend since elementary school and talk to him he discovered he had lost a friend.  Joe wondered many time in his head if there was a purpose for him here.  He questioned his living every day.   He had no clue how he was going to find another friend that could compare to David.  The first couple weeks were rough, Joe had no friends and he had no one to sit with.  He felt like he was all alone and would be forever.  Until one day when these three boys went up to him and asked if they could sit with him.  Joe replied "yes!' he finally was going to have friends and be able to feel good about himself.  He thought everything was going to turn around and that he finally wouldn’t be lonely anymore.  Joe has never been bullied before so he wasn’t sure what it felt like.  What he did not know was that these three boys were not his friends, but they were just messing with him and teasing him to make themselves feel better.  Although they did not let him realize this until a few months have went by, and Joe started to feel down about himself.  He did not talk to anyone and he was not even communicating with his own family.  Joe missed out on a lot of family events and hid in his room a lot.  His parents were very concerned with him and did not know what was bothering him.  They never talked anymore but they just figured he was stressed out from school and had a ton of homework all the time and he just wasn't use to it.

                The real truth was that Joe was being bullied not only by the football players but by his best friend, or what he thought was his best friend. The football players have changed David and he was starting to bully others.  It seemed that David had almost forgotten he was even friends with Joe at one time because sooner than later he started teasing him along with the others.  They would hit him, call him names, and even knock his books out of his hands while they were walking down the hallway.  What did Joe do to deserve this from one of his good friends?  Joe was not a jock, he did not participate in any other school activities, and he kept to himself most of the time.  Joe figured if he just stayed quiet and almost just blend in with others than he wouldn’t be talked about.  Every time he turned the corner or walked into class and heard whispering he immediately thought it was about him.  Even if it wasn’t he put it in his head that it was.  Voices in his head told him that he would never be liked and that he was the talk of the school. 

                 What Joe really needed was a friend to be there for him but there was no one.  Sure he had acquaintances but they were not friends he could trust.  He would not trust anyone ever again after what David did to him.  He just figured everyone was like that and that everyone was out to make his life miserable.  When other fellow students would say "hi" or "what's up" Joe ignored them, he just thought they were there to tease him and bully him around.  Joe was starting to feel worse and worse about himself; he did not know how he was going to go on every day with no friends and feeling like this.  But who could he talk to? His parents but then he would feel like a baby and they would just think he is over reacting.  Everyone was against Joe and no one wanted him around he believed.  He had voices in his head each day telling him he did not belong on this world and then others saying he did.  Joe didn't know what to believe.  He did not have any friends so what was the point.  One day Joe did not show up to school and the day after that.  He was absent from school for a month straight.  Students were starting to wonder what had happen to him; even David was realizing how bad he treated him and wondered if he was okay.  When David tried to call him, Joe’s parents said he could not come to the phone and that he was busy.   Joe left a note on his desk in his bedroom explaining to his parents why he was going to take his own life.  He explained that he had no friends and he just couldn’t take the voices in his head anymore.  No one wanted him here and he had no purpose to be here anymore.  He was being bullied and picked on every day in his life.  The last line stated “I love you both, and will miss you terribly, but know I will be happier after I do this.” When his mother read this she was in tears, how could her son believe there was no one here for him?  His parents loved him and gave him everything but that was just not enough.  What David and the others did not know was that Joe had tried to take his life by over dosing on pain pills, but he did not succeed.  Thank god that his father had walked in on him and took him straight to the hospital to get care for his son.  After they had Joe stable they then brought in a therapist to talk to him.  The truth came out; Joe did not have any friends lost his best friend David.  He was being bullied and had no one to turn to or talk to.  His parents took him out of that school and put him in a private school, where Joe seemed much happier and made new friends.  Joe never talked to David again and went on with his life, he ended up going off to college and becoming a successful business man. The voices in his head finally ended.  David on the other hand will always have the thought in his head about what happen to Joe.  David felt really guilty about what he had done and knew it was wrong all along.  He just wanted to fit in, but what he almost did was kill his own friend or what used to be his friend.

                   Bullying is not a joke.  After reading this diary about Joe I hope that everyone realizes how much we impact each other’s life.  Society is changing each and every day and bullying issues are even becoming a problem in colleges.  Make and change and put a stop to it.  If you see someone being bullied stick up for them and be a friend to them.  Sometimes they just need that one person to say "hey I'm here for you."

Do you know who is watching you?

Do you know who is watching you?

A Story Taken From: A Dairy of a Mad Man

Do you ever feel like people are watching you, that there are cameras everywhere following you around, watching your every move? Well I know that this is happening to me and I can’t stand it. I search for the cameras and the tape recorders but “they” always seem to trick me. You are probably wondering who “they” are. Well let me tell you a story.  When I was younger I was part of their group, a group of people spying on others they wanted to “make disappear” for one reason or another. Don’t bother asking me what the reasons were; I just sat in a small dark room with monitors everywhere. After a day at staring at those monitors I would report back to them and tell them my findings for the day. I was never told who they were or why they were doing what they did. Now that I think about it I never saw them in person; our conversations where usually over the phone or some sort of video chat and even then it was a different person every time.  I worked for them for about 10 years until they got a child involved. They talked about doing horrible things to this sweet, innocent baby. I could not take it any longer. I’ve watched fathers get taken from their families and many other things I can’t even say. I refused to work with people that could do such horrible things to families and children.  At the end of the day when I was supposed to have my daily conversation, I screamed and yelled and quit. About a week later I received a call saying that I was next.           

     People tend to think I am crazy for thinking all this, but I am telling you I am not.  My friends and family always tell me, “Josh you never worked for “them” you worked for a bank but you got so obsessed with the whole camera thing they fired you.” I did work at a bank but it was after I worked for “them” and I quit, they didn’t fire me. The bank I worked for was going along with “them”. I am telling you. My co-workers would walk by me laughing. I would see them all huddling in a group looking at me pointing at the security cameras we had and then pulling out their phones to listen to something. They were all probably listening to me reading my daughter a bedtime story. It made me sick. What else was I supposed to do? Stay around and work for people that were helping “them?” That was all a while ago though. I now can’t find a job that isn’t working with “them.” Every time I get a new job something happens where it makes me believe “they” are watching. Sometimes I even search for the camera but I can’t find them. They are better than I thought. My family is even becoming a part of “them.” My crazy wife left me and took my sweet daughter with her. My wife was working for “them.” This time I found the camera  in our baby’s room, looking over her crib. When I asked my wife about it all she said was, “Honey we put that there to look over Chloe.” Did she really think I would believe that bull? I explained to her as nicely as I could, “GET THE HELL OUT OF MY HOUSE.” She refused to leave Chloe here with me. She said to me “if you think the only person that puts up with you would betray you like that you do not deserve our daughter.” Now that I think about it what did she mean by “Put up with me”… And people think I am crazy!
      I stayed in my house for about a year but since I had no income I could no longer afford my home. I sold it and now currently live in my parent’s basement. I know it sounds lame, or like I am some sort of pervert, but trust me I am not. My parents are really the only ones not helping “them.” My best friend Nate even turned on me.  He never usually invites me over unless it’s some sort of party except this one day.  He asked me to come over to help him fix his T.V. I knew that this time I would finally catch “them” because they would never think I would expect my friend for years to turn on me like that. I told you they are tricky like that. As he welcomed me into his fairly new home, he could tell I was a bit jittery. He asked me what was wrong; I told him I just needed some coffee because I was up late the night before. He ran down stairs to get me a cup. This bought me some time to search the upstairs. I looked under his bed, in his closet, in all his drawers. Just then a light bulb popped into my head like in the movies, I didn’t check the light bulbs.  I unscrewed every single light bulb in sight. Breaking every single one on his night stand, I’m surprised he didn’t hear all this going on upstairs. I knew a camera was in one of those sockets or inside the light itself.  I couldn’t find anything anywhere and I knew I didn’t have much time left. The coffee was done brewing and he was pouring it in my cup. Then it came to me, it’s all in the T.V we were supposedly fixing. I found a chair and when I was about to throw it, Nate walked in and said; “What did you do to my room, GET OUT NOW.”  I was furious I didn’t get to find the camera in that T.V and show everybody that I was right and out smart “them.”  I was walking back from Nate’s house and I saw the magazine stand that is always on the corner of Main and Parkway. I scanned all the magazines and newspapers. I stopped in my footsteps. Why was I on the front page of the BEE? I paid the guy a buck and sat down on the closest bench. I slowly pulled the paper closer to my face, scared to see what it said. “WHAT” I said. The picture wasn’t of me at all it was a picture of the circus that was coming to town. I swore it was me on that front page, I knew “they” changed the picture as soon as I was about to read it or “they” switched the newspapers so fast I couldn’t even tell. I was angry, furious, and energetic so I ran back to the newspaper stand and tore every single magazine and newspaper off and demanded him to tell me who he was working for. All he did was scream for the cops. The cops grabbed me and threw me in the back of their car like I was a rag doll. I didn’t go without fighting though, I tried punching, kicking and even biting to try and get lose but damn those cops were strong. 
      I am currently in a dirty old jail cell. The cops told me that I am going to an institution in the morning. I really don’t want to go but they keep telling me I’ll be safe there and whoever is after me won’t be anymore; so I guess it is okay. 
        My name is Chloe; I am Josh’s daughter I found his dairy after we had to clean out his things from his room at the institution. I guess since he didn’t finish telling you his story, I will. After he got to the institution, he loved it for the first month. He totally forgot about the cameras and everything watching over him. Until one day, a camera fell off his bed post onto the floor in his room. He couldn’t trust anybody at the institution anymore. He would steal the knives from the kitchen and wait for a nurse to walk in and try to stab her. He said “You are one of “them”; I am going to kill you before you can take me.” After a while they just stopped coming in in general and would slide his food through a slot in the door. I guess being stuck in one room for over a year can make a sane person go crazy so imagine what it did to him. One day when they came to give him his meds, they didn’t see his hand reach over to grab them but saw a shadow in the far corner. They slowly opened the door saying his name, “Josh please don’t hurt us we are just here to help you.”  As they slowly opened the door they saw his body hanging from the ceiling holding a note. He must have been crying while writing it because it was all smeared, we could make out one sentence though and it said “I didn’t want “them” taking me away.”